Friday, September 13, 2013

He smiles, it's like the radio...

It's been two months since Cory's passing and it, at the same time, feels like yesterday and forever. It still shocks me how I can miss someone I never knew so much. My parents and sister probably think I'm a complete loon for having mourned the way I have for the past couple of months, but they've all been so patient and sweet with me. At times I've felt absolutely insane for feeling so much about this man who I only knew through a television, but it's not just about the man. It's about what that man stood for, the passion which with he lived life and the amazing people I have in my life now because of him.

I have a lovely group of friends, who are also fans of Cory, and we've been leaning on one another; telling stories, sharing pictures. A couple of days after he passed I felt the overwhelming need for something, anything that would allow us to keep apart of him here with us forever. Yes, we will always have Glee; countless youtube videos and dvds, thousands of pictures and endless memories, but I needed something concrete. Something I could look at on a daily basis and remind myself of the strength and passion and love for life that Cory possessed. With my wonderful group of friends, we all chipped in and had a star officially named Finn Hudson in Cory's memory. Buying that star, receiving the certificate, sending it off to nine ladies with beautiful hearts, and sending off a copy with a donation check to Project Limelight Society - an organization Cory put his heart into - was one of the proudest, most cathartic moments of my life.

I've been watching interviews in which a lot of his castmates have talked, albeit, briefly about him and they all have basically said the same thing: It's tragic, he's forever missed. But Cory loved life and he'd want us all to carry on and do the same. 

"The show's gotta go all over the place."

There's really no point of this blog other to commemorate the 2 month anniversary of the day the world grew a little dim but the heavens beamed with a bright new light. I think of Cory every time I hear thunder, whenever I look up at the stars, or place my hand over my heart and feel the star pendant on my necklace. I pray for him every night, knowing he's perfect and happy and whole, and knowing he's the most kickass guardian angel Lea could ever want. On that note, I leave you with this beautiful picture of Cory that captures him at, what I think is, his absolute best - loving life.



Thursday, August 15, 2013

Cory

It's been a little over a month since Cory passed, and almost a month exactly since I revisted this blog to try to get some words out and make sense of all of it. It hasn't been easy. It amazes me that we can miss someone so much that we didn't know personally. But we did. We knew Cory. And for a while I felt selfish and silly saying that. Claiming my sadness and grief as real felt like it was undermining the unfathomable pain his family, friends and his love must be feeling.

But then Lea gave her speech at the Teen Choice Awards on Sunday.

And she got it. This woman who knew Cory better than anyone in the world; who held his hand and shared his inside jokes and knew his struggles - she understood that we're all grieving. She saw the light and love that Cory shared with all of us, the way that he reached out and became apart of all of us; barging clumsily into our hearts with his handsome smile, talented voice and incredible, silly personality. And I stopped feeling guilty and started feeling grateful. Grateful that she has the strength and grace and heart to share his loss with us, grateful that we were lucky enough to know him, even if it wasn't nearly long enough.

It might be a terrible thing to say, but I don't think Cory was ours to hold on to for long. He was meant to be so much more than his earthly being could contain. I have to believe that the Lord knew Cory was done suffering and fighting himself and that he was meant to be a star in every true sense of the word. I still hate that he's gone. I hate it. It puts a knot in my stomach I miss him so much sometimes. But, as Finn Hudson once said, 'The show's gotta go all over the place'. I firmly believe he's still with us. For many of us, he exists in the stars. In his songs. In the tiny, every day things that remind us of him. We get to keep him in our hearts forever and always remember him beautiful and healthy and happy.

I wanted to end this by saying that days later, I am still amazed and in awe of Lea's strength and grace. She is the epitome of class and elegance. And she's absolutely right. With all our love - for Cory, for her, for each other - we're going to get through this.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

The Show's Gotta Go All Over the Place

Okay, I've been putting this off because I honestly just didn't know what to say about Cory's passing on Saturday. I mean, those of you that follow me on twitter are probably like, "Didn't know what to say?! You've tweeted about nothing else for three days." Valid point. But I didn't know what to say. And to be honest, I'm not positive I do yet. But I'm going to try.

Those that know me know of my absolute love and adoration for Cory. He FELT like a friend and I honestly don't know that I could miss him anymore than I already do if he'd been someone I actually knew. So when I woke up Sunday morning to multiple texts from friends, asking if I was okay and if I'd heard the news, I was devastated. I'm pretty sure the whole world was devastated. And now, three days later, there still seems to be no understanding of how something like this happens. How someone as beautiful and goofy and kind and talented as Cory is just...gone. I can't wrap my head around it. I've cried - a lot. And I've prayed a lot. And I've asked myself and others and God 'why' a lot. And no one really has the answer because there isn't one. But in talking to friends, this is what I've come up with.

I hate, hate, hate that he is gone. And I hate how he was taken. But maybe God knew the struggle was just too much for him to fight anymore. That it was time for him  to leave his burdens and struggles at the summit and be fully revived and made perfect and whole in the spirit. I'm not going to lie or sugarcoat it - it sucks for us - it's unfathomably sad for his friends, his family, for Lea - his best friend and love. It's nothing short of a tragedy and it's not something people are going to just get over. We're always going to miss him. But grief is a selfish emotion - that we're 100% entitled to feeling. But Cory is healthy and happy and at peace. It's hard for us here, those that loved him that are left behind to find that all-encompassing peace in this life, especially at this time when it's so hard to understand. But we're not meant to understand it. We're only meant to love and remember and honor him until we meet again.

I've seen what a hold addiction can have on people. I've seen it take the lives of family members. But the thing about Cory is, he didn't hide behind it. He didn't use it as a crutch or an excuse. He was open and honest about his struggle - he wanted to beat it. He was not content to just let it consume him. He struggled, and, if I had to assume, he lost to it, but he fought to beat it until he just couldn't fight anymore. And for all of his struggles and tribulations and maybe even short comings, I respect the hell out of him for his endless fight and strength and courage.

I miss him so much it hurts and I still don't understand how we'll never hear him sing again, see him smile. But I take comfort in knowing that he doesn't have to fight anymore. He's not struggling.

Anyways. I just needed to share with those of you that might be reading this that in spite of all of the pain and tragedy and devastation, there's a silver lining. It's small to us, and it sucks, but it's what we have. And we've got to go on living life fully for him and because of him. He fought and so should we.


My prayers and condolences and best thoughts go out to Cory's loved ones. His friends, family and parents. And sweet Lea. I pray they find some peace and healing.

You'll be missed forever, sweet Cory. You're always in our hearts and your star shines brighter now than ever before. #CAMM 

xoxo

Kristen

Sunday, June 23, 2013

30 Day Challenge


It's been a while since I've blogged about...well, anything. And even longer since I've done any kind of 'challenge' that didn't involve my iPhone and instagram, but I found this list on pinterest and thought it sounded fun so I figured I'd give it a shot and see if I can keep up with it! I don't have internet access everyday ( I don't know how I live without it, either, but I manage) so it'll probably be like a 64 day challenge, or something, but it'll be fun nonetheless!

Here's the list if anyone wants to play along! Instead of creating a different post every time I update, I'm just going to add my answers here under the corresponding prompt!


THE LIST:

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.


- I'm left handed.
- I'm an only child.
- I played the clarinet in middle and high school.
- My favorite food is pasta; spaghetti to be specific.
- I love to bake cupcakes.
- I'm something of a tv nerd and get way too invested in the lives of fictional characters.
- I own every Sarah Dessen and Emily Giffin book.
- I'm in love with North Carolina.
- John Krasinski tweeted me once and my life will never be the same.
- I would rather be barefoot all the time.
- I am immediately drawn to anything antique or kitschy.
- I am very much addicted to concerts and live music.
- I was in a movie when I was 18.
- I love to sing and used to entertain the masses (aka - my stuffed animals) with my talents.
- I have an addiction to Smashbooks.
- Mark Schwahn told James Lafferty I was awesome and my life was made.
- I got a navel piercing when I was 18.
- I always wanted an older brother.
- I fell out of a tree the day before my eighth birthday.
- I wanted to be a football coach when I was younger.

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
- Fear of Flying/Public Transportation
      - I've actually 'conquered' this fear this past December when I flew with the youth group   I work with to Denver, CO, but it's still something I get quite anxious over. We're flying to NY on Sunday which I'm starting to stress over a bit, but I think my biggest worry right now is the subways. I don't like being in a setting that I can't get out of/that I have no control over.
- Frogs
     - I don't know what constitutes as a legitimate fear, but frogs are legitimately scary to me. I think it ties into the control thing; I can predict when they're going to move and they're just so. damn. gross. Ugh. When I visit my parents in the evening, my dad always meets me out at the car with a flashlight so that I can avoid any and all run-ins with frogs.
- Never being a mom
    - I am never, nor have I ever been, the person to have regrets. I take every mistake or wrong turn in life as a lesson learned. But I know with 100% certainty, if I never get the opportunity to be a mom (and a wife, but mostly a mom) that will be my one regret in life. It's one of the few things in life I positively know I was born to be.

3. Describe your relationship with your parents.

    This one is pretty easy for me. I have a fantastic relationship with my parents - I always have. I'm blessed in countless ways I can't begin to describe.

4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could. 6-25

    
- You will get over him. Honestly, you will.
     - Never, ever apologize for wanting or loving something.
     - It's okay to fail and to fall short.
     - That confused feeling of longing and wanting to help when you see the Special Ed kids   getting picked on: it's for a reason. Your heart will lead you to it when it's ready.
     - You FINALLY get on an airplane.
     - You really can be just friends.
     - 25 is not that old.
     - College is stressful and overwhelming and hard: but you make it through.
     - ENJOY IT
     -  You're going to make so many amazing friends in ways you'll never, ever expect
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
    
      -
A fresh start
      - My sister moving to Texas in 3 - THREE!!! - days
      - Baking/ i before e plans
      - Kinetic Kids
      - My new job opportunity

6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
     - I've been blessed in my life to have God show me which paths to take when He was ready for me to find them. And, while during the in between I felt like I was drowning, I never really felt lost or struggled for long. I'm blessed to still have both of my parents, and both sets of grandparents. My parents are still together and I still see them at least once a week. So, I guess, Natalie, my best friend from grade school, passing away was the hardest thing I've ever experienced. I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that she's gone. She just never woke up. And although it's been at least a decade since we've seen one another or spoken, there's not a day that goes by that I don't think of her and miss her.
7. What is your dream job, and why?
    - Anyone that knows me knows that my passion has a major case of A.D.D. I love and feel inspired by and about so many things. My dream life would include being a contracted, licensed behavioralist, working in homes with young children with autism. And owning at least one i before e cupcake cafe with my sister.

8. What are 5 passions you have?
    - Special Needs
       There is nothing as rewarding to me as working with children - especially young, early childhood children - with special needs. Being able to see their faces, work with them and help them learn to do things that those with typically developing abilities take for granted is just the greatest joy.
    - Baking
       I cannot wait to own a cafe with my sister. It's going to happen, I know it.
    - Youth Ministry
       When I first got my part time job as a youth ministry assistant, I won't lie, I was a wreck. I have always worked with the 5 and under population; that's my forte, that's what I'm naturally good at. So working with middle school and high schoolers? It scared the crap out of me. But almost a year later, I have been blessed and inspired by these kids and this job in ways I never could've imagined.
    - Music
    I. Love. Music.
   - Babies
   I cannot wait to be a mommy.

9. List people who have influenced you.
    - Bethany Joy Lenz
    - Michelle Obama
    - Adrienne Gaither
    - John Krasinski
    - Mom
    - Dad
   
10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
   
     -
I'm never good at answering this question because I honestly can't think of anything that's embarrassed me the most; I usually just laugh off embarrassment because, hey, what else can you do?!

11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.

   
- Being interrupted.
    - Being talked down to/treated like a child.
    - Seeing people who don't deserve things get away with doing less.
    - Adults who don't discipline/raise children to behave and be polite.
    - Adults who don't let kids be kids.
    - People with no respect for the opinions/beliefs of others.
    - People that treat others of different race/religion/sexual preference and mental capabilities as less.
    - People who don't follow the rules of the road while driving.
    - Being lied to and/or taken advantage of.
    - Having to repeat myself.

12. Describe a typical day in your current life. 7-3
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have. 7-4
14. Describe 5 strengths you have. 7-5
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why? 7-6
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments? 7-7
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at? 7-8
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive? 7-9
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why? 7-10
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood. 7-11
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first? 7-12
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

Monday, June 4, 2012

ATX TV Festival Re-Cap: Day Two



I don't know what anyone has heard about the 1st Annual ATX TV Festival, besides that it was awesome - which is absolutely true - but here's my first hand experience...

Day Two

Day two, Saturday, was the first official day of screenings and panels and we had three things on our agenda: Friday Night Lights panel, One Tree Hill panel, and the Friday Night Lights outdoor screening event. And of course, because we were expecting rabid fan girls, we had a plan of action.

Our first panel, FNL, was at 11:30, so we made sure we secured parking, coffee and breakfast before making our way to the Stephen F. Austin hotel – at 9 am. Yes, we were that early. Again. But like I said, we are both so used to the over-enthused ‘it’s cool we like the same thing but I will shank you if you dare cut in line’ fan girl mentality, that we couldn’t figure out why there was no one else was already there and lined up. I mean, it’s the FNL cast. In Austin. The line should’ve been wrapped around the building. But I digress.

So we get there, sit in “line” (aka – by ourselves) for two hours before other fans start showing up. The cast line up was meant to be – Matt Lauria (Luke Cafferty), Scott Porter (Jason Street), Gaius Charles (Brian “Smash” Williams), Michael B. Jordan (Vince Howard), Alicia Witt (Cheryl – Becky’s mom), Louanne Stevens (Grandma Saracen), Jesse Plemmons (Landry Clark) and Brad Leland (Buddy Garrity). Unfortunately, Brad and Jesse didn’t make it. However, the rest of the cast was great. They all talked about their audition process, how the way that FNL is shot is unlike any other film or serialized show they’ve ever worked on.



Some notable anectdotes from the panel:

  • Gaius Charles – who is a night and day difference from Smash – had to study phonetics and how to twist vowels (his words, not mine), in order to sound like Smash. Dude is a total brainiac. A nerd in the best sense of the term.


  • When Matt Lauria read for Luke, Taylor Kitsch (Tim Riggins) read for Becky, and was dressed in boots, a wig and a short skirt.


  • Louanne Stevens told her audition story and how she pretended she was really from a little shack in Texas where she had “nothing left but the sunsets”. I was pretty sure Scott was going to fall off the stage he was laughing so hard.


  • Gaius and Matt hadn’t met until 15 minutes before the panel started and I think Matt was a little starstruck.


Afterwards, all of the guys and Louanne stuck around to take pictures and sign autographs. Louanne, bless her heart, was just pleased as pie to be there and actually printed out what had to be at least a hundred 4x6 pictures of her and Zach Gilford and of the whole cast and was passing them around to fans – to keep. She was precious.



Scott Porter, who we’d already met and taken pictures with, came up to us as we were staking our claim in the One Tree Hill line (two and a half hours early, mind you) and just started a conversation. And he’s so easy going and friendly. He asked what we were waiting for next, what actors were in the panel, and then asked if we knew whether Austin Nichols was going to be there or not. Talking OTH with one of our FNL guys? Definitely going down in the book as one of the coolest moments ever. After we chatted, Scott asked if he’d see us tonight at the screening, gave us a beautiful goodbye smile, and left. He’s perfect, you guys.



Much like for FNL, we were first in line for OTH, and after watching Lindsey, James, Eve and Mark walk by, we grabbed front and center seats. Now, after talking to the ATX people via twitter, I knew there would be some kind of behind the scenes type screening, so I’d prepared myself – and Emily – for the buckets of tears I might have cried. Fortunately, it was just the extra piece from season 8, so I only teared up a little. The moderator was Jordan Levin, who was the CEO of the WB when One Tree Hill first aired. And, while it was nice to have a moderator who was genuinely interested and invested in the topic, he did dominate the panel a little more than I would have liked. But, to be honest, I would’ve been, and was, quite content to just sit there and look at James for 45 minutes. Not a bad way to spend one’s time.

They – being Mark and Jordan, mostly, but also James when he felt compelled to speak – talked mostly about how much One Tree Hill struggled and fought to get picked up, and then to stay picked up for nine years. They referred to it time and time again as a family, which just makes me all warm inside, because it was, we were and are and always will be, the OTH family.

Some notable anecdotes from the panel:

  • Mark told the TRL story (if you haven’t heard it, then you obviously live under a rock, but I’ll summarize anyways – mid season 1, the core five made a visit to TRL, and mark and the other producers/powers that be watched in the lobby of their office – because they didn’t have cable – and when the limo with the cast pulled up there was a mob of fans waiting and Mark says he didn’t know what show people were watching. “That’s my show, but that’s not my show.” Because the ratings were so low and everyone was so negative about it, they were all surprised how popular they were.) Anyways, James starts talking about how the limo with the five of them pulls up and they were confused by the crowd of people and assumed there was a concert. When they realized the crowd was for them, James – who was only 17 at the time – looked around at his castmates, smirked that oh-so-loved smirk, and stood out of the moon roof and pumped his fists in the air. Precious man tells precious stories.

 Okay, I’m just going to warn those light of J/L&N/H loving heart – this is going to make you swoon. It might be best for you to find a secure seat before reading. You’ve been advised. 
  • A fan asked Mark if he ever felt like they went too far with storylines in the way of craziness – i.e dog eating hearts, psychos!galore, etc – and Mark said he really felt like the crazy started in season one with Nathan and Haley’s surprise marriage. The question was kind of handed over to James who said, and I’m obviously paraphrasing here:

    • “I was so young at the time, I really didn’t have an opinion, I was just excited to be acting! I remember when we got the scripts for that episode, Joy came up to me and was like ‘Did you see the script?!’ and I was like ‘Um, yeah.’ And she was like, ‘Isn’t it crazy?!’ and I was kind of like, ‘Uh, I guess.’ (insert adorable James laugh after an all too perfect Joy impersonation) I was just happy to be there! You want to marry me? Cool, I won’t complain! (insert yet another perfect laugh).”


(Still breathing after that breath of fresh adorableness? Hold on. There’s more.)

  • After James says this, Mark starts talking about how James was the youngest cast member and tells a story about James and the 1.22 rain kiss scene:

    • Mark:  “James was so young, and in 1.22 I wrote in the script for that scene ‘and now they kiss, preferably with tongue’ (yes, I quoted along as he said it. He didn’t judge me and neither should you.) And James walks up and says ‘Uh, it says here ‘with tongue’ so um, am I supposed to do this?’ and of course, I was just screwing with him, but I said, ‘I don’t know, go talk to Joy about it.’ And he did! So he goes up to Joy and is like, ‘So did you see the script? It says with tongue, so like, what –‘ and Joy just looks at him, shrugs her shoulders and goes ‘Eh, whatever!’ And they did it! And I was totally just screwing with them.”
    • James: “Hey, it worked!”


(I’ll give you a few seconds to collect your thoughts, hearts and inhalers…)

After the panel, fans all but flooded James, who so graciously lead them all to the lobby bar for pictures and autographs. There is no sweeter man than James Martin Lafferty. I’m sure of it.

While we were waiting for James’ crowd to disperse, we hung back to talk to Mark (who’d told me the night before he’d kick my ass if we didn’t come say hi at the panel) and to take pictures with him. As we stood there with him, I asked him how they managed to sneak Craig (Keith Scott) into 9x11 with, literally, no one knowing. He got a pretty good laugh out of it (I guess when fans find out so many spoilers, it’s nice when you pull the wool over their eyes, especially when it’s such a big surprise.) He said Craig came in and only shot for one day and he kept a very low profile.



After grabbing a group picture, autograph and another dozen thank you’s from James, we headed back to our hotel to get ready for the FNL outdoor event. 




And that, my friends, was only the first half of Day Two...

ATX TV Festival Re-Cap: Day One

I don’t know what anyone has heard about the 1st Annual ATX TV Festival, besides that it was awesome – which is absolutely true – but here’s my first hand experience…

Day One

It was by total fate that I found out and was able to attend this event. A friend on twitter randomly asked if I knew James (Lafferty – in case you live under a rock and need clarification) was going to be in Austin…I totally didn’t know! So, needless to say, I wrangled in a friend who is as much of a TV!Nerd as I am, and we bought or badges and waited (im)patiently for June 1st to arrive.

The Festival had so many screenings and panels that we wanted to see, but some overlapped, so we had to strategize. We ended up reserving four events – Friday Night Lights panel, One Tree Hill panel, Once Upon a Time screening/panel, and Parenthood screening/panel. Along with these events, because we had industry badges, we were also invited to the exclusive opening night red carpet event, the USA premieres of Suits and Royal Pains, and the Opening Night after party.

We arrived in Austin at 9 am…two hours before we could register and five before we could even check into our hotel. Yes, we are over-achievers, but we’re used to dealing with crazed fan-girls who camp out over night for events such as this! We easily made friends with some of the Festival volunteers/workers which made the event all the more fun and comfortable.



Anyways. I know you guys are like – yadda, yadda, get on with the good stuff, Kristen – okay. I’m getting there.

So, Friday we get ready for the Red Carpet event and arrive at the Stephen F. Austin an hour early – we were obnoxiously early to everything, but it paid off every time – and made more Festival friends and watched as Jason Ritter casually strolled into the lobby. This was the first of many sweet smiles and waves we received from this adorable man. And then, there was James. You know in the movies, when the princess comes down the stairs and people see her beauty for the first time? Well, that’s what this was like…minus James in a ball gown. Because we were sitting with Festival workers/volunteers, he walked up to us, leaned on the back of my  chair, and asked where to go. I don’t know where it came from, but I managed to sit there, calmly, share a smile with him, and then turn back to my conversation with Emily without my body spontaneously combusting. Don’t ask me how I did it. I still don’t know. He’s beautiful, you guys. B-e-a-utiful. Oh, and Mark was there, too. He’s a cool guy, but at the time, all I could think about was James’ hand being so close to my body.

So then, we walk down to the red carpet shortly after James is escorted and watched James and Mark do their thing on the red carpet. Then we just kind of hung out until the USA premiere screenings of Royal Pains and Suits – shows I’ve never seen, but it was cool.

After that, we went back to the hotel for the after-party: and this is where the adventure truly begins. We were the first ones there – shocking, I know – grabbed some drinks and a table and just watched. The first actor we saw was Scott Porter – so gorgeous. We didn’t meet him, but I stood next to him so close at the bar that I could smell him. And I did. Good times, you guys, good times. Then, we met Lindsey McKeon, who I still affectionately refer to as Hurricane Taylor. She was a sweetheart, and we grabbed a picture with her. After that, we had encounter number two with Jason Ritter, who is just the sweetest of sweethearts. His genuine smile and gorgeous blue eyes light up a room, and I’ll be damned if he doesn’t look just like his daddy who I’ve loved since I was a little girl. We met him out on the terrace later, and got a picture with him, and his exact words were “We’ve been seeing each other all night, it’s great to finally meet you.” Uh, dude, I’m supposed to be saying that to you. Instead my response was, “duhhhhhh…” and then I giggled. Eloquent, I know.

We spotted Matt Lauria, Michael B. Jordan, Mae Whitman, and a few celebs that looked familiar but I couldn’t tell you their names. I turn around to see if Matt Lauria had detached himself from his wife long enough to snag a picture with him – he hadn’t – and spotted James, Mark and Eve out on the terrace and I knew this was my chance. But by the time I’d made it to the terrace doors, I’d completely psyched myself out. I didn’t want to be that fan girl, not with James. I wanted to be cool and calm and tell him how much I respect and admire him. So, we sat patiently, and waited for the flock of “press” girls around him to disperse. In the mean time, we met Mark, and I finally got to tell him thank you like I wanted to in Wilmington. I also let him know he walks faster than anyone I’ve ever met in my life – it’s apparently, his “director” walk. For those that don’t know, when I was in Wilmington, we saw Joy. Didn’t meet her, but we saw her. And we referred to her as our unicorn. So, when I told Mark we saw Joy he said, and I quote – “That’s hard. Seeing Joy is like seeing a freaking unicorn.” My. Thoughts. Exactly. Schwahny.

After that, Emily and I sat and hung out for another half hour – watched James get his foot stuck in the railing of the terrace (that memory will always make me laugh) – and just enjoyed the warm, Texas night. When I felt like the timing was right, I went and introduced myself to James – with Mark standing over my shoulder saying, “She’s Awesome!!” (Thanks Mark!) – told him I’d been watching since I was 15, and that I grew up with him and the show. You guys. He was so sweet. So gracious and so genuinely flattered to have meant to so much to a fan. He thanked me several times, snapped a picture with us, and told us he looked forward to seeing us at the panel the next day.

We went back to our hotel, blasting “Shake It Out” through our windows – high on life and the adrenaline of being so close to those we love and admire.

And this was just day one, you guys.